


Salted Wounds

by MistySkies



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Bullying, Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, I suck at tagging, Incest, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Suicide, Underage - Freeform, bc yolo, depressed, tadashi will be hiro's therapist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistySkies/pseuds/MistySkies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro Hamada is growing more and more depressed. It's been four months since Tadashi died, and he's not coming back to save his little brother. But what if he was still alive? Could he save Hiro from himself? Hidashi. REWRITE OF "SCARS NEVER HEAL".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place four months after Tadashi's "death" and Hiro is depressed, he self-harms, and will have future suicidal thoughts and mayyybe eating disorder(s) idk. Sorry the chapters are short! Enjoy bby!

Drip, drop. Drip, drop. Drip, drop.

A thick liquid dripped from pale skin, landing directly on the alabaster-white floor. Said tiled floor was hosting many droplets of this thick liquid. It was crimson-red, smelling metallic. The smell would give an eerie feeling in one’s stomach, proving it was, in fact, blood.

The source of the blood was a boy. He was a fourteen-year-old male, with wild black hair and coffee-brown eyes. His skin was pale white, a much lighter shade than most boys his age. His body frame was thin, but not nearly as much as he used to be.

Over the last few months he had grown a slight build. His arms weren’t as scrawny, and muscle added about a half-inch to the width of his arms. His legs were included as well. They had thickened and had become stronger. He was definitely tougher.

He had grown into this form after a few months of fighting off bad guys. There were thieves, serial killers, robbers, and not to mention Callaghan. All this fighting had given him a reward, although, no one seemed to notice how he had grown. They were all busy with their own problems.

So yes, he was tough. But not emotionally.

He was the polar opposite when it came to his physical strength and mental strength. In his mind, his thoughts were dark and sorrowful. No one could see through his mask. He had grown better and better at lying throughout the last couple of months.

But who was this kid?

Hiro Hamada, that’s who. 

Fourteen-year-old genius and robotics college student. He had graduated high school early, skipping a few grades here and there, then finished with the last year of high school at age thirteen. His brother, Tadashi Hamada, had shown him the college he had attended. He had managed to convince his little brother to audition for a role in the astounding “nerd school”, and he had gotten in.

But where was Tadashi?

He was dead. Robert Callaghan, the lead professor of the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology, had caused a fire, which purposely killed Hiro’s older brother. However, his death was avenged, by his brother and friends. They had formed a team, nicknamed “Big Hero 6” and had taken down Callaghan. They saved Krei, saved San Fransokyo, caught Callaghan, and rescued his daughter, Abigail. 

They also managed to restore Baymax. They recreated the robot, after he had rescued Hiro and left his chip in his palm. It had been exactly four months since Tadashi’s death, and a little over three since they defeated Callaghan. The group rejoiced, excited for their victory. They now fought the evil vigilantes in their hometown, saving many innocent lives.

They were all happy. All but one.

Hiro Hamada was not happy. He was sad, blue, depressed, whatever you’d like to call it. He constantly felt empty and numb. When he didn’t feel this way, he just felt sorrowful and depressed. He wasn’t that excited child anymore. He was forced to grow up in a world that needed safety, and here he was. 

He needed a way to feel. To relieve. So he had searched it once. He could vaguely remember typing into the search bar “how to relieve stress and depression” and was answered with millions of results. He could recall clicking on one of those links, and came across an article about self-harm.

The teenager skimmed through the paper, before stumbling across quotes from self-harmers themselves. He felt the need to test their theories, to see if what they said was true.

So he did, and it worked. He was now not only a depressed teenager, but a self-harming teenager as well. He did it to relieve stress and to feel something. He wanted the numbness to go away, to vanish into thin air. So he cut and cut, until there was barely any room left on his wrists and thighs.

And that’s exactly what he was doing at this moment. A blade was held in his right hand, while he sniffled and watched the blood cascade down his flesh. He felt his stress fade away, his muscles tensing before relaxing. This process became repetitive, repeating itself over and over. He exhaled sharply, shutting his eyes to keep the tears from escaping. 

What would Tadashi say?

Shut up, he’s not here!

But if he was?

Hiro didn’t have a response for that. He reopened his eyes, brown orbs casting themselves across the bathroom. His depression was growing with every passing day. He just couldn’t take it anymore. What was the point of living? He didn’t see any reason to go on.

He had already avenged Tadashi, so why not join him? If heaven existed, he certainly wanted to see Tadashi there. But if it didn’t? Well, he’d just cease to exist. At least then he wouldn’t feel the emotional onslaught. 

The teenager shook his head, disrupting his thoughts. He growled with irritation, becoming fed up with his own mind. He slapped a hand on his forehead, dragging it down his face before slipping back into his lap.

“If only you could see me now,” he murmured sadly. He frowned, tears brimming at his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, getting to his feet. He grunted at the stinging sensation coursing through his thighs, before cleaning up the mess with a washcloth and pulling his pants back up. He washed his hands thoroughly, using many squirts of soap to rid himself of the metallic scent.

The raven-haired boy would then stash away his bloody razor, then exit the bathroom. He sighed, running a hand through his untamed tresses. It was then he felt fatigue gain on him.

He groaned, flopping onto his mattress. “I’m so done,” he mumbled into the covers, creating a muffled noise. He rolled over so he was facing the ceiling, then tucked himself into bed. 

“Goodnight, Baymax,” he muttered tiredly. The robot was charging at his red-colored stand. He faintly heard a robotic voice give a response.

“Goodnight, Hiro.”

XXX

The following morning Hiro awoke just feeling awful. He wasn’t sure why, but he just felt sad and depressed. It was a typical Saturday, to his relief. His college had vacation days on Saturday and Sunday, thankfully. He was positive he’d lose his mind if they didn’t have free weekends.

He groaned as his cell phone began ringing. It was buzzing with life, signaling someone was calling him. He blindly reached on his nightstand for the device, smiling in victory when he felt the electronic. He pressed the green button, which accepted the call. He didn’t bother looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” he asked groggily.

“Good morning, Hiro!” Honey Lemon’s voice came through. He nearly groaned at her cheery tone.

“Hey, Honey Lemon,” he murmured unenthusiastically.

“You all right?” she asked with concern.

‘Concern? Why would she be worried about you?’ a voice quipped at him. He rolled his eyes, before realizing it was true. No one cared about him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired,” he replied calmly, mentally patting himself on the back.

“Oh, ok. I’m hanging out with Gogo and Fred. Wasabi’s busy with his parents. So, wanna hang out at the nerd lab? I’m trying to make a new blend for one of my bombs,” she responded. Hiro frowned.

“Uh….”

“Great! We’ll pick you up at nine,” she interrupted, ending the call. He groaned, thumping his head against his pillow. 

“Oh, joy. A whole day of lying and faking happiness,” he muttered darkly. He checked the clock, which read about eight-forty. He grumbled to himself, reluctantly sliding out of bed. He pulled on some cleaner clothes, then slipped on his red sneakers. 

He brushed his teeth lazily, still trying to wake up. He wasn’t a morning person, especially with depression always hanging over him. The teenager finished in the bathroom, then attempted to comb through his hair but failed. Rolling his eyes, he moved on to a different task.

Within a couple of minutes he had finished getting ready. He alerted Baymax, causing the robot to inflate. “Hello, Hiro,” he greeted. Hiro just gave a grunt, pulling him down the stairs and into the café.

“Aunt Cass! I’ll be at the institute!” he called to his guardian, who replied with an “ok”. He hurried out the door, not before checking the clock. It was five minutes until nine, which gave Hiro some time to relax.

He took a seat under one of the umbrellas hanging over a table. The chair was uncomfortable, but at least it had cushions on it. He shifted in his seat, hoping to get comfortable under the shade, while watching customers enter and exit the café. He watched as kids chatted amongst themselves, laughing and giggling at their own jokes.

It was all great, until a scream rang out.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro tries to save a little girl. He didn't expect to fail rescuing her, and he certainly didn't expect the aftermath.

A frightened scream rang into the cool air, earning gasps and surprised expressions. Hiro instantly sat up, glancing around. He spotted a man with a gun, pointing it directly at a little girl with mocha-brown hair in two ponytails. She was crying, while a woman stood about ten feet from her, possibly the girl’s mother.

“Baymax, we’ve gotta help!” Hiro urged, racing off towards the garage without another word. He pulled out his armor, hurriedly slipping it on and bolting out. He charged towards the man, fist raised.

“C’mon!” he challenged, Baymax swooping by and standing beside his patient. 

“Ah, the heroes. How will you save this poor girl? Now that she’s DEAD?” he shouted, pulling the trigger.

“NO!” Hiro screamed in unison with the woman, who was crying and clutching her face.

It was too late, the trigger was pulled and the bullet was released. It struck the girl right in her temple, instantly killing her. “Scan for any ways to help her!” Hiro ordered Baymax. He quickly examined the girl, remaining silent for a moment.

He hesitated before saying in a monotone voice, “There is no pulse. The bullet as punctured her brain and has wounded her severely. She is not breathing.” Hiro choked on his own breath, watching helplessly as the man laughed, running off.

Hiro felt anger pulse inside of him, making him pelt towards the mysterious attacker. “Come back, coward!” he demanded, furious at both himself and the man. He had just let that girl get killed! He felt so miserable.

He climbed onto Baymax, who used his thrusters and soared towards the mysterious attacker. They swooped in front of him, causing him to slide to a halt.

“Nice try, you sick bastard,” Hiro snarled ferociously, stepping off of the back of the robot. Cop cars were immediately swarming around the man, who was panicking. Cuffs latched onto the guy’s wrists, who fought back with determination. 

Hiro sighed, lowering his head. “Good job, kid,” a police officer praised, turning back and towards his cop car. Hiro didn’t even acknowledge the man, continuing to stare at his feet. He shut his eyes, feeling tears build up. 

He felt selfish and ashamed of himself. He couldn’t even think of what he could have done to save that innocent girl. He had stupidly run right up to the guy instead of thinking of a plan. Plus, he was slow and sloppy. He knew he could have rescued the girl if he hadn’t been so reckless.

‘First you let Tadashi die, and now this little girl? Wow. What a failure.’ 

Hiro sniffled, turning back to his robot friend. “Hiro, your neurotransmitter levels are low. This means you are feeling sad,” his monotone voice stated. He just nodded, tugging on his arm and leading him back towards the café. 

He stormed into the garage, tears already streaming down his cheeks. ‘I should have died instead of her,’ he thought to himself. He shook his head, feeling his shoulders rack with sobs. 

“I’m satisfied with my care,” he choked out, causing Baymax to waddle over to one of his extra chargers, which was kept in the far corner of the garage. 

Baymax knew better than to argue with Hiro. They had gotten into plenty of heated talks where Hiro wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He always won.

Hiro’s breath hitched, as he quickly wiped at his face, getting rid of the tears. He pulled off his purple hero outfit, trying his best to keep his cries to a minimum. He didn’t want anyone hearing him. Then they’d call him weak, or grow curious. No one cared, and he knew that. They were all just curious as to what each other’s secrets were.

The teenager trudged towards the door, which led to the back of the café. He quietly entered the subtle building, then would carefully climb up the stairs, avoiding everyone’s eyes. Most of the customers were still outside, wondering about what had just happened.

As soon as he was upstairs he scurried to the bathroom, refraining from slamming the door shut. Instead, he silently closed it, before sitting down and leaning against the ivory-white wood. He could feel the ginormous wave of emotions lingering over him, and any moment now, that wave would crash down on him.

And it did. It crashed into him hard, causing him to abruptly let out a string of sobs. “W-why am I s-such a f-failure,” he choked out, pulling his knees up to his body and hiding his face in front of his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself, keeping his limbs in place as he rocked gently.

“Tadashi never would’ve let that girl die,” he mumbled incoherently, to where only he knew what he was saying. Another shoulder-racking sob escaped him, he buried his head deeper inside of himself, wishing for some sort of relief.

“That’s it,” he muttered, slowly untangling himself and getting to his feet. He was going to go bot-fighting. It usually made him feel better, made him feel smart about how his bot defeated everyone else’s. 

So he grasped onto Megabot, then led himself out of his home. He made sure to avoid Aunt Cass, who would probably be bombarding him with questions. He crossed the street with caution, then raced pass alleyways, heading right towards the most common place he used to bot-fight.

He noticed that there was a larger group today, especially for it still being daylight. He weaved through the crowd, making his way to the clearing where the opponents were fighting one another. He watched as a blue robot with black flames painted on itself swiftly decapitated the other one’s head. The man who had won was a muscular guy with dark clothing. A few tattoos were noticeable from his short sleeves, and there was a group of other men standing back behind him.

Hiro knew this usually meant they were a gang. If a gang lost, then they’d get angry and try to beat up the winner. But he had experience with fighting, due to his alter-ego superhero status. So he carelessly stepped up, placing a wad of cash on the platter and taking a seat in front of the intimidating form.

“A kid? Don’t play jokes on me!” a deep voice rang out. It was then Hiro realized the voice came from his opponent. His face wasn’t visible, due to the shadows casted from the people standing behind him. 

A woman with dark purple hair whispered something to the stranger, and he burst out laughing. “This kid? This kid is the mysterious winner?” he gasped out. The group behind him began chuckling darkly as well. Hiro visibly flinched, hoping to act as though he were innocent.

“L-look, I’m just a kid. I don’t know who this person is, but t-this is my first time here,” he lied smoothly. “I have money—we can still fight, right?” 

The group’s laughter died, as their leader leaned forward. “Fine, kid. I’ll give you the first move,” he mocked. He gripped tighter on his control panel for his own blue robot, while Hiro took out his remote. He cleared his throat, before the purple-haired woman waved a flag down.

“Begin!” she exclaimed, and Hiro did what he was told.

He swung lamely at the blue-colored robot, which easily dodged. Hiro’s opponent faked a yawn, before easily making his robot swing at Megabot. He gave three swipes, each whipping off a part of the pitiful looking robot.

“And the winner is the undefeated champion, Flammable Blue!” the petite woman bellowed, pointing towards the unrecognizable man. He laughed darkly, making Hiro know he should probably just let it go. But he couldn’t back out now, he needed his money back.

“W-wait, can I… can I try again? I have more money!” Hiro piped up, holding out a thick bundle of cash. Flammable Blue remained frozen for a moment, before giving a discreet nod.

“Fine,” he muttered quietly. Hiro pressed a button on his remote, before Megabot reunited with its own limbs, acting as though it hadn’t just been decapitated three times.

“Begin!” the woman shouted, and Hiro’s robot lashed forward. He smirked, pulling his control panel wide apart, so that it was nearly twice its original size.

“Megabot, destroy,” he ordered, loud enough for the bystanders to hear. Flammable Blue looked confused for a moment, before his skin grew white around his controller, signaling he had a death grip on the remote.

Megabot climbed up the blue-colored bot, swiftly batting at the electronic’s arms. After Megabot had accomplished ripping off Flammable Blue’s robot’s arms, it then proceeded to wrap itself around its attacker’s head, growing tighter and tighter until—pop! The robot’s head was gone, and Hiro had won.

“Whoops, sorry ‘bout that,” Hiro muttered sarcastically, grabbing onto his winnings. “Later!”

Surprisingly, the gang let him leave. Until he reached the opening to an alleyway, of course. Hiro felt arms wrap around his body, causing him to let out a panicked cry. His noise was silenced by a hand going over his mouth, as two pairs of hands pulled him into a dark corner. 

“Oh, so nice to meet you, mister mysterious winner,” Flammable Blue laughed. Hiro glared at the mystery man, but strong hands restrained him. “Go ahead, guys. Teach him a lesson,” he snarled, then ambled off.

Hiro’s panicked bellows were muffled by the hands around his mouth. No one was coming to save him. No one could hear him.

He felt a kick land on his stomach, making pain course through that area. He groaned, bending over in pain. Another kick landed on his shin, most likely creating a large bruise. He grunted quietly, trying to remain strong. He didn’t want to appear weak. He had done enough of that in private.

A punch landed on his jaw, causing him to stumble backwards. He cried out after feeling a kick to his ribs. He could feel tears brimming at his eyes, but he quickly kept them under control. A few more blows were inflicted on the teenager, before they suddenly stopped coming. 

“That’s enough for now. He should know his place,” a dark voice snapped. The men surrounding Hiro backed off, leaving his crumbling form in the corner of the shadowy alley. “Come on, let’s not waste our time on this pathetic waste of space,” the hooded man laughed, leading the way back towards the bot-fight. 

Hiro felt pain all over his body, making him nearly cry once more. All he could think about was how stupid he was. He was so ashamed; today he let a girl die, and he got beat up by a gang, both by his own stupidity and ignorance.

The raven-haired boy slowly got to his feet, crying out when he put pressure on his wounded ankle. “Gah!” he exclaimed when he landed on his wrist. He tried getting back up, this time succeeding. 

He stumbled back to the café, trying his best to hide his wounds. He hurried up the stairs as fast as he could, managing to get away from Aunt Cass. As soon as he was up in his bedroom he collapsed onto his bed in a crying heap. He was emotionally and physically pained, wanting nothing more than to make it all end.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro continues feeling all his emotions build up on him. And suddenly, he comes to terms with his feelings for a certain deceased brother.

Hiro was getting worse. It hadn’t even been two days since the little girl was killed, and he was feeling miserable. He just wished he could somehow save that girl, to prevent her death. Guilt was eating him alive!

It was Monday morning, and Hiro was currently preparing for yet another college day. He had already dressed in his usual attire, which were casual and comfortable clothes. He had also eaten breakfast, and by eating he meant that he had thrown it in the garbage can when no one was looking. 

Now he was staring in the mirror, feeling sick, both mentally and physically. He wasn’t sure why we felt dizzy and woozy, but blamed it on not eating for a while. He hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. Plus, he couldn’t remember the last time he drank water.

So he finally just grabbed a cup from the bathroom counter and filled it to the top with tap water. He chugged it down, that first sip making him realize just how thirsty he truly was. He couldn’t feel the hunger anymore, though. When he did, which was rare, he’d simply push it aside, thinking about how he didn’t want to waste food on himself. It would be much better just going in the garbage than in him. He felt as though he didn’t deserve it.

He was convinced that he could have rescued that little girl. He had heard on the news her name was Lucinda. He had watched the news and how they showed a picture of the girl, which made his heart clench. She was a beautiful, bright girl, judging by her appearance.

The teenager sighed to himself, wiping a hand down his face tiredly as he brushed his teeth. He felt exhausted. Yes, he had gotten sleep, and a whole lot of it. He felt better unconscious than awake. It made his troubles go away. Plus, it eased the constant cloud of fatigue always hanging over him. Barely. It was like no matter what he did, he was always tired.

The fourteen-year-old rinsed his mouth, then combed through the tangles in his messy hair. It was fluffy and soft, making him relax. Maybe he wouldn’t get teased as much about his hair today.

He turned away from the mirror to keep himself from breaking down. He just hated himself so much. What was there left to say? How he hated that he was so depressed? Scared? Fragile? Or maybe how he was really thin? Scrawny? Weak?

He growled out, slapping a hand to his forehead. He hated his own mind. It was constantly battling itself, as if it were at siege. He felt so conflicted, all he wanted was for it to come to an end.

No, he wasn’t suicidal. Or at least that’s what he told himself. He felt the need to make the pain go away, but never actually proceeded to kill himself. He had reoccurring thoughts of killing himself, though. It didn’t help when he got taunted at college, either. No, he wasn’t bullied. Or, well, not severely, that is. He got insulted and called names every now and then, but no one had ever physically hurt him. The name-calling, however, still stung. In fact, it added to his self-hatred, then knocked down whatever bit of self-esteem he had gained in the past few days.

Hiro sighed once more, shaking his head. He really needed to stop getting lost in his own mind. He had been staring at the blank wall for a solid five minutes. He glanced over at his alarm clock, reading the time. It was nearly eight o’clock. 

The teen began getting back up, just realizing he had taken a seat on his bed. Slipping on his red sneakers, he then decided to bring Baymax with him. No one questioned why he brought the nursing robot everywhere. They all knew Baymax was created by Tadashi, and they also knew better than to try and order Hiro to take his non-living friend home.

“Ow,” he muttered unenthusiastically. It worked, nonetheless, and the robot began inflating.

“Hello, Hiro,” the mechanical voice greeted. Hiro almost smiled at his friend. Almost.

“Hey, Baymax. Time for school,” he replied, reaching for his backpack. He carried it around all the time. It had his sketchbooks, pencils, and old versions of Megabot inside. If he ever thought of a new idea, then he’d have a sketchbook to write in. This meant he could later make the idea come alive.

“Hiro, your neurotransmitters are low,” Baymax spoke in his monotone voice. Hiro frowned.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It means I’m sad,” he muttered with an irritated edge. “It’s all right. C’mon, let’s go.” 

Baymax waddled behind the teenager as they left the room, then went downstairs to the café. “Morning, you two!” Aunt Cass called.

“Good morning,” Baymax said.

“Hey,” Hiro greeted aimlessly.

“Something wrong, honey?” his aunt asked.

“Nah, just tired,” he replied convincingly. She nodded, waving to the pair as they headed towards the garage.

“Have a good day!” she called cheerily.

“’Kay,” He replied quietly, leading the way to the garage. He slowly opened the door, carefully avoiding bolts and screws scattered around the floor.

Usually he’d have a friend to drive him to school, seeing as he was fourteen and didn’t have a license. However, he had decided to ignore his friends the past two days, even when they’d call multiple times. They had heard about Lucinda being killed, and knew Hiro was involved because he was wearing his suit. 

Today, however, he’d have to find another way to get to the campus. Looking around the garage, he realized he could always try something new. He still had Tadashi’s old motorbike. Usually he would avoid even glancing over at the little vehicle, but now… how else was he supposed to get to the institute?

He sighed dejectedly, hauling the forgotten motorbike out from behind some of their old bicycles. Hiro frowned, staring down at it. He felt as though he’d break down at any second.

He shook his head, slapping himself across the face. “Stop being such a baby,” he snapped to himself, pulling the red vehicle away from the pile of junk. He grabbed onto the helmet on the handlebars, then strapped it on. “Baymax?” he asked.

“Yes, Hiro?”

“Do you mind staying home today?” he asked.

“I do not mind. Have a good day, Hiro.” Said boy gave a nod to the robot, then switched on the motor bike. He inhaled sharply, feeling a lump form in his throat. He sighed, holding back tears as he slipped the helmet farther onto his head.

Experimentally pulling on the gas, he felt the bike give a roar, as if coming to life. “Alright, let’s try this out,” he sighed. “C’mon, Hiro, you’ve beaten grown men at bot-fighting, you graduated high school at age thirteen, and you’re a fourteen-year-old genius. I think riding a little bike should be easy,” he muttered to himself. 

He opened the garage door, then zoomed out. Pulling on the brakes, he made sure to halt slowly, then closed the mechanical door behind himself. “Great, another day of learning things I already know,” he growled, pulling the helmet down and zooming out from the driveway.

The thin teenager made sure to avoid cars and curbs, and soon he had reached the college he was enrolled in. He breathed out in relief, unstrapping the helmet and setting it on one of the handlebars. “Let’s just hope my luck will last,” he murmured hopefully.

He carefully strapped the motorbike around a pole, making sure no one could steal it. He didn’t want one of Tadashi’s last objects to get stolen.

After doing this, he pulled out his phone, checking the time. It was barely eight-ten. He didn’t have his first class until nine. Usually he’d hang out in his lab in the meantime, so that’s exactly what he did.

On the way there, though, he noticed people giving him bizarre looks. He quirked an eyebrow, watching as girls in groups giggled as he passed them. What was so funny? This continued until he had reached the “nerd lab”, and by then he felt his self-esteem levels were severely low.

He made sure to silently go to his own lab, keeping quiet. He discreetly entered the room, closing the doors softly to prevent any noise that would alert the other students. Sucking in a breath, he locked the doors, then turned to his lab.

He hadn’t really been working on anything, as of recently. A month ago he had finished a new version of Megabot, but no one could know about that. They would discover he was bot-fighting again and give him a lecture on how Tadashi wouldn’t have wanted him to bot-fight.

He hated when that happened. When he was younger, he always looked up to his brother. He wanted nothing more than to be like him. He was selfless, caring, strong, and all in all, amazing. Hiro tried his hardest to be like him, but it never worked. He found himself to be selfish, careless, weak, and most definitely not amazing.

This phase lasted from when he was six, up until age twelve. Six years of striving to be the best person on the planet. Tadashi was able to do so without any scraps of effort. How could someone be so perfect? It was beyond Hiro how his brother would always be able to do so many things without even trying.

And here he was now, wishing nothing more than to be as tough as his sibling was. His sibling was strong, nothing could ever make him feel down. He was always optimistic. Hiro used to be that way too, oblivious to the world. Now he was pessimistic, depressed, and overly saddened.

How had his world changed in just one night? The night of Tadashi’s death scarred him for life. He could so vividly remember the fire. The blazing inferno engulfing the showcase building, and eating up his brother as well.

Hiro was too ashamed to admit it, but sometimes he felt like he wasn’t normal with Tadashi. He felt something else. Something… more. More than friends, more than family, and more than brothers. He could never identify what it was. Maybe he could ask someone about it?

He tried talking to Honey Lemon about it once. It was a month after Tadashi was killed, and he was feeling overwhelmed with sadness and grief. When he tried telling her, though, she was always busy. And when she wasn’t, he didn’t feel like talking.

He wasn’t normal. Never was, and never will be. He wished he had taken Tadashi’s place in dying. Tadashi didn’t deserve death. He was worthy of a long, happy life. Not to be defeated by fire.

Hiro, however, didn’t feel like he deserved living. Unlike how he felt Tadashi deserved to live, he felt like he deserved the exact opposite. Death. Yeah, that’s right. He deserved death, and he knew it. No one would care. And if they did, they’d get over it. He estimated about two months before they would fully recover, then go on with their lives like it didn’t matter. Like nothing had happened at all.

Again, his thoughts began to wander over to Tadashi once more. He missed him so much. It just hurt. Everything hurt. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Was there even a point in living? He always heard that people got over depression, but what if it was caused by a loved one’s death? Then what? It wasn’t like they were coming back.

He sighed, banging his head against his window. He looked out at the landscape, smiling softly at the beautiful scenery. 

Suddenly, he realized something. He remembered all the times Tadashi would help him. He would feel warm and fuzzy inside, and then he’d always feel loved. Sometimes he was anxious to be around his brother. When something happened, he always went to him. He knew how to make all the pain go away.

And then he had flashbacks. Hiro began to see his memories flash before his eyes. The moment he created his first handshake with Tadashi. He felt so excited and the aura was happy and hilarious. The moment he got picked on in when he was eight, and when Tadashi held him and played a couple of games with Hiro to make him feel better. The moment Tadashi swooped in on his motor scooter and rescued him from the group of guys that were about to hurt him when he won a bot-fight.

And suddenly, he remembered it all. The way he saw Tadashi in a whole new light when he drove away from those angry men. Hiro felt as though a dozen bricks had just been dropped on him. Or if he had been dunked in ice-cold water. 

“Oh my god.” He was in love with Tadashi.


End file.
